My dear sister has emailed me this poem by Russell Kelfer several times since my pregnancy with Danica. Each time it comes through my screen I cry, and I am humbled.
A week from tonight we will know if Danica's fusion is really happening. We will know if we can take a step towards a different kind of brace and perhaps therapy and walking again. Danica has been complaining a lot more about her brace hurting her. I think it's just bent out of shape some, and the girl has grown so much since she was fitted for it back in October. She is more and more frustrated with being confined and immobile. She is talking more and more about what she is longing to do when she can finally walk again and go places again and maybe move her neck a little.
Won't you please pray for good news for us next week, and if it's not for the grace to wait even longer if that is His gift. Our Hope remains.
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
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Sometimes resting, and waiting, sometimes flailing arms, and waiting, sometimes bewildered and waitning, sometimes, amazed and waiting. Sometimes, numb, tired, angry, always thankful, grateful, and in awe of the bigness of our God, trusting and waiting, learning, growing, striving, and being still, but ALWAYS, hoping, and believing,even when we can't see, or even feel God, still holding on, and waiting. Waiting with you my friend. Knowing and relying on those mercies...New EVERY EVERY EVERY morning! Our help is in our merciful Savior, who is familiar with our sufferings. He hears our cries, and our prayers. Praying for you all.
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