When kindness is the miracle

". . . Belief isn't always easy.
But this much I have learned--
if not enough else--
to live with my eyes open.

I know what everyone wants
is a miracle.
This wasn't a miracle.
Unless, of course, kindness--
as now and again
some rare person has suggested--
is a miracle.
As surely it is."-Mary Oliver

Almost four years ago now I sat in an office of a condo community in Maryland, outside DC, working as a Marketing Director for a real estate development company. God was changing my heart and life in ways I could have never imagined then. One of my constant prayers during that time was for God to "enlarge my territory." The ache behind that prayer was a need for a shift in my priorities and a place to really use my life for something more meaningful. In a nutshell He answered by giving me a very high risk pregnancy, taking my job away, putting me in bed for months, taking Delaney from me for a time and slowly stripping away all my own ability to provide anything for myself. I was humbled, broken, mostly alone and wondering how in the world this was the answer to my prayer. Then He gave me Danica.

Here I am in much the same circumstances (minus the cushy office and job), but four years later I am surrounded by the amazing love and support of family, close friends, church community, school community and people I have never met from all over the world. As I was talking with a gentleman on the phone today, a man who has reached out to us in staggering kindness, God was using his own life story to minister to me. God has worked in the hearts of certain people to help our family through this difficult time. He is working His purpose in not just the here and now but well into the future answering my specific prayer of four years ago to enlarge my territory. I want to shout it from the rooftop today. God is good. He is faithful. The kindness shown to us is a miracle. It's God's grace over and over and over again in big and small ways. He is not just writing our story with this pen of love but using that same ink in the lives touching ours. This isn't just about us. It's never just about us.

Soli Deo Gloria

(Thank you to everyone who has emailed and called about my own appointment today. I am in a great deal of pain. The doctor's office is trying to get my Lupron shots approved through Summa and as soon as that happens I will get my first shot. Some of you know we are already struggling with Summa again about Danica's surgery. Please pray specifically God will work so I do not have to spend so much time and energy fighting for them to cover their portion. Please pray the Lupron will shrink the growths left to eliminate some of my pain and my reaction to the shots would be minimal. Our hope remains!)