Friday, August 31, 2012


Source: via Monica on Pinterest

It's Friday night.  It is Labor Day weekend and almost everyone I know is planning something fun to celebrate the last days of summer.  I am in bed.  I have a searing pain in my lower left abdomen that only dulls with strong pain medication but will not subside.  Since I wrote last week I have been to my doctor, the emergency room, a general surgeon and my gyn surgeon.  What was first diagnosed as a ventral hernia is now thought to be a large endometrioma grown into my abdominal wall.  I will have surgery Tuesday morning at Mercy to remove it.  Danica and I also had cultures come back positive for a nasty infection resistant to normal antibiotics.  This is all in a week for us. 

My frustration with this overwhelming pain and unexpected surgery is understandable.  I don't ask God "Why?" anymore, but I do cry, "How long?"  I don't doubt His provision.  I breathe it.  I move forward knowing I cannot keep doing this and still somehow finding the strength and Grace to make it through . . . again.

Thank you for praying for my heart.  I am discouraged.  I am sad.  I am weak.  I am broken.  I am all those things where God likes to do His best work and show His greatest glory.  Day by day and with each passing moment I will do the thing I think I cannot do . . . again.

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