Friday, August 31, 2012
It's Friday night. It is Labor Day weekend and almost everyone I know is planning something fun to celebrate the last days of summer. I am in bed. I have a searing pain in my lower left abdomen that only dulls with strong pain medication but will not subside. Since I wrote last week I have been to my doctor, the emergency room, a general surgeon and my gyn surgeon. What was first diagnosed as a ventral hernia is now thought to be a large endometrioma grown into my abdominal wall. I will have surgery Tuesday morning at Mercy to remove it. Danica and I also had cultures come back positive for a nasty infection resistant to normal antibiotics. This is all in a week for us.
My frustration with this overwhelming pain and unexpected surgery is understandable. I don't ask God "Why?" anymore, but I do cry, "How long?" I don't doubt His provision. I breathe it. I move forward knowing I cannot keep doing this and still somehow finding the strength and Grace to make it through . . . again.
Thank you for praying for my heart. I am discouraged. I am sad. I am weak. I am broken. I am all those things where God likes to do His best work and show His greatest glory. Day by day and with each passing moment I will do the thing I think I cannot do . . . again.
Posted by Monica Kaye at 8:27 PM