I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things,
things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1
Tonight I am broken. I cannot breathe or move without the strength and grace of my God. The day seemed frantic and without the togetherness I had imagined but just for a few minutes tonight we sat in the dark as a family with the twinkling tree lights and Dan, who had not showed much emotion today but pushed through what needed to be done, went and got his ipod and played this song sung by Selah for us as a family. Then we listened to it again. " . . .You always give the healing and grace our hearts always hunger for . . .Here in our weakness you find us falling before Your throne . . .You are the One that we praise. You are the One we adore."
Each of us are feeling much different emotions but all have the same thread. Me, the momma bird, leaving my baby bird for the longest I ever have. I snuggled her in her little nest tonight and sniffed her hair and kissed her nose and the ache was more than any physical pain I could ever feel. I whispered in her ear, "I am you and you are me." Me, leaving my Laney who said matter of factly after I tucked her in and prayed with her and sobbed, "Mom, I'm used to this. It's my life." Me, looking into my husband's eyes and seeing how weary and frightened he is beneath the brave, strong and loving heart. We hugged. He told me he is making a commitment to me to be "up" even when he feels down because he knows I need that from him to get well.
The PERFECT faithfulness of God shown in marvelous ways this week reminds us who wrote this story. The next weeks and months are not blank pages. These things were all planned long ago. Even your love to us was decided much before He laid it on your heart to pray or give. Tonight we settle into the arms of a God who is ALL. We praise Him. We trust Him. Our hope does not disappoint.
(Thank you so much for praying for us all and especially for safety for our travel to Maryland and for my surgery Monday. I will be at the Doctors Community Hospital at 9am to get a PICC line, 11am I will go back for surgery prep and 1pm is the planned surgery start. He has the operating room scheduled until 6:40pm. Dan or my sister-in-law, Amy, will be updating here and on facebook as they can. I have a stack of thank yous here I desperately want to write and unanswered emails and messages and even un acknowledged great love. To each of you I say, your words and prayers and blessings are needed and appreciated and give comfort and encouragement. We love you.)