Monday, April 25, 2011
My wish for you
I'm sitting here in my room listening to Rascal Flatt's playing on Delaney's ipod dock and both my girls are singing at the top of their lungs,
" . . . My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish"
Tomorrow will mark exactly a year ago we were in Cincinnati and found out THIS. I read Shauna's words from Cold Tangerines again. They mean so much more today.
"When you realize that the story of your life could be told a thousand different ways, that you could tell it over and over as a tragedy, but you choose to call it epic, that’s when you start to learn what celebration is. When you see in front of you is so far outside of what you dreamed, but you have the belief, the boldness, the courage to call it beautiful instead of calling it wrong, that’s celebration. When you can invest yourself deeply and unremittingly in the life that surrounds you instead of declaring yourself out of the game once and for all, because what’s happened to you is too bad, too deep, too ugly for anyone to expect you to move on from, that’s that good, rich place. That’s the place where the things that looked for all intents and purposes like curses start to stand up and shimmer and dance, and you realize with a gasp that they may have been blessings all along. Or maybe not. Maybe they were curses, in fact, but the force of your belief and your hope and your desperate love for life as it is actually unfolding, has brought a blessing from a curse, like water from a stone, like life from a tomb, like the actual story of God over and over. I would never try to tell you that every bad thing is a really good thing, just waiting to be gazed at with pretty new eyes, just waiting to be shined up and- ta-da!........there is something just past the heartbreak, just past the curse, just past the despair, and that thing is beautiful. You don’t want it to be beautiful, at first. You want to stay in the pain and blackness because it feels familiar, and because you’re not done feeling victimized and smashed up. But one day you’ll wake up surprised and humbled staring at something you thought for sure was a curse and has revealed itself to be a blessing-a beautiful, delicate blessing."
As I listen to Delaney and Danica's sweet voices singing about wishes I can feel their hearts swelling with lessons about life and love that never would have been learned except by walking the hard road our family has travelled. This has been my hope for them since they were conceived. My prayers have been for tender awareness of the story God is writing in their lives and gratitude for the blessings. Hard will always come, but knowing how to look past it, grow through it, heal from it and keep moving on is a gift.
We leave for our Disney wish trip Wednesday morning. Dear Dan is suffering from several physical issues, and we covet your prayers that he would find some relief so he can truly enjoy this magical family time. Thank you for all your continued prayer and love and support. When we return home we have another big appointment for Danica in Cincinnati and will face packing up our home and moving. For just this week we want to put it all aside and revel in the pure joy of loving one another. Our hope remains!
Posted by Monica Kaye at 9:43 AM