Friday, February 14, 2014

Dear Monica (a love letter from my Dan) and surgery update

I'm in bed in my hotel room in Maryland resting after my shunt revision surgery today.  I am so thankful  and after the relief my shunt had brought me since October last year I knew I could not go back to living with such intense suffering. Today was affirmation just how bad my pressure had become.  When Dr. H took me in and pulled a pressure reading from my shunt prior to making an incision it was 30.  It should be 12-15 to be comfortable. When I came out of anesthesia I could see again out of my right eye and had no headache. I have the old shunt and valve in a little plastic bag to bring home as a souvenir.  My incision site is already very black and blue.  The pain is bad as well, but post op pain is hopeful pain.  In the bed next to me is my friend, Janet.  This trip would likely not have been possible without her sacrifice to bring me and stay with me.  I am overwhelmed by the light and love she brings to my life.  Dare I say this was a good day.

My family is back in Ohio.  I miss them desperately.  Monday was Dan and I's 13th anniversary and today is Valentine's Day.  Dan and I did not do gifts for one another.  Another surgery and trip means more financial pressure.  Instead, my husband wrote the most incredible letter to the girls and I as a gift.  I cannot describe how perfect it is to have your husband express his heart in your exact love language.  I want to share it here because more than all the posts I could make to try to explain our marriage and family, his words say it all.  Thank you for praying me me today.  Thank you for lifting up my dear man and girls while I am away.  We are changed by your love for us.

To share with our girls

Happy Anniversary 2014.  Thirteen years and counting.

I love that we have two girls separated by five years so they will enjoy their own lifestyles and experiences.

I love how steadfast and independent our first born is and how she is already a very good dreamer. NEVER STOP DREAMING, DELANEY.  She gets this from me.

I love how our youngest has the most caring heart I've ever witnessed.  Danica gets this from you. I am the baby as well, and I believe we mark our lives by watching the youngest grow older.

I love that Delaney and Danica will keep surpassing their dreams and always care for one another. 

I love that you have a "never give up" mentality when faced with obstacles.  I knew you were a fighter just days after we met.  I think of you every day and night.  Even though life's complications get in the way, I will always love you and care for you.  Our two girls are still young.  They are young enough that remembering these difficult days may be overshadowed by the happiness and joy we as a family can achieve in the near future when they better understand our situation.

I believe time passes quickly so as a family we can grow closer together through trying times.

I know I am a very blessed man.

To express how I feel about you best I always say I cannot wait to retire so I can spend more time with my my wife.


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