Friday, February 11, 2011

The bedside table

Cleveland Clinic guide to surgery binder.

New bill from Cincinnati Children's for $2,004.35.

New FMLA papers that came certified today.

Handmade valentine from Dan's aunt Bonnie with a reminder of daily prayers.


Stack of paperwork for financial assistance for old University Hospital bills.

Handmade "Dayenu" mug from Sharon full of pens.

Aveda hand lotion from Beth.

A stack of books: One Thousand Gifts, What's so amazing about Grace?, Peace and Plenty, The Praying Life, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook.

My Bible. (The one I grew up reading not a newer version, because I need to see the same words I memorized, the same notes in the margin, the same worn pages that have brought me this far.)

Three journals.

Three thank you notes addressed but not written.

A scrap of paper with a list of things to do before my surgery.

A check for our family from an old friend and his wife.

A box of prescriptions.

A tissue with fresh tears.

My bedside table is a metaphor for my life right now. It's the place I let down my guard and all the truth about how tired and anxious and sad I feel about what has happened and what is happening is being told. You can see why. You can see the pills I reach for when I need sleep and some relief from the pain. You can see the months of blank days in my planner. You can see the never ending bills. . .

Take a closer look and you can see the WORDS that win out. "Dayenu. All of YOU is MORE THAN ENOUGH for all of me." You can see God's love, His GRACE, His manna, for us in the constant outpouring of love from others. You can see our debt is really already paid. If you read closely you will see the storylines of faithfulness, strength, growth and the "healing of the heart's eye through which God is seen." (St. Augustine)

I am cleaning off the bedside table today. I really only need to see His words from Psalm 73, "My flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

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