Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Always Miracles

 . . . this is freedom.  This is the force of faith.  Nobody gets what they want.  Never again are you the same.  The longing is to be pure.  What you get is to be changed.  Jorie Graham

Danica and I have been watching and waiting for weeks now for the buds on the weeping cherry tree just outside her window to open.  Every day we would study the intricacy of this delicate work of art.  It seemed like it would never happen.  We would have a warm day that would fall fast into freezing temps and even snow flurries.  

Yesterday morning I knew the forecast was for a warm and somewhat sunny day.  I told Danica as I kissed her goodbye for school, "I think today is the day!"  I moved about my routine of making beds and cleaning up before I settled in for quiet time and then some serious phone calls about the summons to court for an old Akron Children's bill.  My dad called, and we talked about how we could set up a payment plan if possible.  I was getting together all our bills and monthly expenses to show the judge how very little we could pledge monthly and how devastating a levy on Dan's pay would be.  There was no frantic feeling like I have had in the past.  I moved through these necessary steps knowing for sure God would help us handle what may be the first of many more serious attempts to collect money we do owe but simply cannot pay.  

A neighbor and friend facebooked me.  "Check your mailbox."  
A plain white envelope with my name on the outside was there.  
I opened it and a check for $2,470.78 was enclosed with a letter that read,

Dearest Monica,

Just because you never know when God will call you to act.  Please accept this gift and pay off your bill.  If God has already provided for this need, use this towards the endless co-pays.

I spent well over an hour last night after I read your blog trying to come up with a plan on how to do this anonymously when He told me not to worry about this minor detail.  Who gives you this money isn't important.  So just pretend my name isn't on this check.  Feel free to share this experience with others because GOD ALWAYS PROVIDES IF WE TURN TO HIM.

I pray this gives you a sliver of freedom for your upcoming week.  KEEP FIGHTING.  Thanking God our path have crossed numerous times.  Blessings and Love.

This is not the first time God has taken something financial that seemed so huge and answered quickly and easily through GREAT LOVE.  It is not the people we know who have wealth and security who you might think would give, but it is often the ones who live very modest lives and have small bank accounts.  They are the faithful ones who have prayed the hardest and become so invested in this narrative God is writing they are willing to sacrifice to be part of the story.  

It is so humbling.  It is so heart changing.  It is so encouraging.  


It was early afternoon when I peeked out to see the first blossoms had opened.  I began to weep at their beauty.  I ran to get my camera and take pictures of them.  The winter always gives way to spring.  No matter how long it seems we believe this.  We know for sure it will come.  This is faith.  The whole world is crying out for us to lift our hearts to the maker of heaven and earth.  Everything faded into the background as I focused my lens.  I was changed just a little more in the moment.  I was reminded nothing about my life is mine.  I felt lighter.  I let a huge burden roll away.  

Miracles.  Big ones like huge checks in the mail and "ordinary" ones like a tree blooming;  a card from someone who has never stopped giving timed so perfectly;  a note from a girl I haven't met saying my life encourages her like Joni, my hero Joni, reminding me there is still purpose to my sharing all this with others;  A talk on the phone with my faithful sissy;  A long talk with my Laney about evil in Boston and how in God we are okay;  A bedtime book about brains with Danica and talks about our surgeries and doctors and how her life is a miracle;  Settling in to bed with Dan with peace and rest in God's amazing care for us once again.  

Our mantra has been from dear Willa Cather, "Where there is great love there are always miracles."  

Always.  Always.  Always.  

We get to be changed.  To God be the glory.  Our Hope remains!

(Thank you for praying for me tomorrow and Thursday.  I have a brutal bowel prep tomorrow and have my procedure at Cleveland Clinic at 12:30 on Thursday.)

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