Sunday, March 3, 2013

Desperate Warrior

Source: via Pam on Pinterest

It would be very helpful to write out the details of the past week, but I can't because the pain and pressure in my head is so insane I feel like vomiting just trying to look at this screen.  I suffer from what we know are high pressure headaches.  Early in the week they were off the charts.  My doctor worked with my neurosurgeon to arrange a therapeutic lumbar puncture locally on Thursday.  I experienced great relief initially, but I woke with a horrible headache yesterday morning, and it has increased in intensity today.  It is hard to know if this is pressure building again or perhaps side effects from the tap.  I know I should go to the hospital, but Dan is working today and the girls are at church with my mom, and I just want to have NO intervention.  I want all this to GO AWAY.  I am very emotional.  I am frantic.  I am having hopeless thoughts.  I feel like I can survive almost anything but not this headache one more day.  I searched the internet and strangely enough people have shared these same feelings post LP.  Apparently this is one of the worst headaches you can possibly endure.

Dan gave me affirmation this morning as he left for work.  He glanced at my back while I was changing and said, "You are a warrior.  That's why I married you."

I'm wounded and desperate.  God, please, help me get through this battle today.

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