If everything is Yours

Danica finally started therapy today. We both loved her new therapist, Bevin, and as I watched her do the initial evaluation of Danica's strength and physical abilities I kept pinching myself. It was a moment in time when all your prayers and all your support and love over the past months were manifest in a real way right before my eyes. I wish you could have seen it too. God is so good.

We will continue to go weekly and work on things Danica has "learned" to do the wrong way because really since she has been walking she has had tortocollis and Chiari symptoms. This has created some bad habits and weakness in certain areas. She continues to have some spasticity but even that seems drastically improved over the last month since removing her Minerva brace and gaining mobility. She is healing. I know you see it in snapshots on this blog but for a mother who has lived and breathed this child and fought moment by moment to give her the best chance it is overwhelming to have months and years culminate into an exhale like I had this morning. God is so good.

When we got home from therapy I got a call from a dear woman who volunteers her time for a non-profit to help Chiari families sort out their finances in the wake of major medical bills. Over the past months she has empowered me to make some sense of all the paperwork from the past few years. Today she reminded me we are taking steps forward to a future and a hope.

I've had the Audrey Assad song "Everything is Yours" on repeat lately. I love the first lines. . .

"When all the world is blossoming
When everything around is bursting into life
And I don't have to strain to hear the beat of Your heart"

Today is one of those days when I can literally hear the heart of God beating for me, His child. I'm so grateful He gives us moments and hours when we are THIS sure. But the next few lines ring even more true to me. . .

"When all the world is under fire
and the skies are threatening to thunder and rain
And I am overcome by fears that I can't see"

I've had such a long season of fire and thunder and rain, and I've struggled to be able to sing through doubts and fear the refrain. . .

"If everything is Yours
Everything is Yours
If everything is Yours
I'm letting it go
I am, I'm letting it go
Letting go, I'm letting it go

Cause everything is Yours
Yeah everything is Yours
If everything is Yours, God
If everything is Yours
If everything is Yours
I'm letting it go

Let it go, let it go, let it go
It was never mine to hold
No, It was never mine, never mine
No"

For a long time I thought holding loosely was enough, but today I understand it is in complete surrender I will really find rest and be able to give Him the glory He deserves. I'm finally letting it go.